


this is me

by odetodun



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bill is a dad, Homophobic Slurs, Kissing, M/M, a cinderella story au, i had to fit with the au, im so self indulgent, richie tozier an asshole? only in aus, some of the losers are ooc, theyre cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 06:08:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12905772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetodun/pseuds/odetodun
Summary: eddie’s been talking to @urtrashman for two years, and still doesn’t know a name. meanwhile, richie tozier is an asshole





	this is me

Eddie ducked under the counter as a group of people he recognised from school filtered in. Grabbing his notepad from the counter, he made his way to their booth.

“Welcome to Frank’s, how may I help you?” Eddie asked politely, eyes barely leaving his notepad.

“Two strawberry milkshakes, two chocolate milkshakes and two portions of large fries” Eddie recognised Richie Tozier’s voice, who wouldn’t?

“Is that all for you tonight?” Eddie asked, finally looking around the table. Richie had his arm slung around Beverly Marsh, a beautiful girl with fiery hair and a fiery attitude to match. Next to Bev was Mike Hanlon, football captain and resident Mr Popular. Stan Uris sat to Richie’s left, Eddie hadn’t heard much about Stan - just that he was blunt and cold.

“That’ll be all” Richie replied, Eddie nodded before taking their order to the kitchen. Eddie returned soon with their order, placing it all on the table in front of them. They didn’t seem to acknowledge him properly and whilst Eddie appreciated this, he still thought them rude.   
    Finally, Eddie’s shift was over and he made his way over to his car. His phone vibrated in his jacket pocket and he retrieved it eagerly.

**@urtrashman  
have you finished work?? i missed u**

Eddie bit back a grin, and started typing out a reply. He was so engrossed with what he was saying, he failed to realise someone was stood in front of him and he collided straight into them.

“Fucking watch where you’re going Kaspbrak” Richie’s voice cut through him, Eddie gulped.

“S-sorry I-“ Eddie cut himself off as Richie turned on his heel anyway.

**@itsagazebo  
pls work was awful, so is life. i missed u too asshole**

**@urtrashman  
asshole, oh i love when you call me pet names to woo me**

**@itsagazebo  
who the fuck says ‘woo’ anymore?**

Eddie unlocked his car, putting his phone in his bag so not to distract him. The drive home was short, Eddie humming along to the radio.

“Eddie bear, is that you sweetie?” His mom called out as Eddie arrived home, he internally groaned before making his way to the living room. Sonia Kaspbrak was fat, Eddie hated saying it about his own mother but she could barely lift herself off the sofa anymore. That’s why Eddie attempted to balance school with running the diner that his Dad left behind.

“Hi mom, did you need anything?” Eddie said.

“Just a glass of water please baby” Eddie made his way to the kitchen, pouring his mom the water and handing it to her.

“I’ve got studying to do mom, if you need me just shout” Eddie informed her, she seemed engrossed in her tv show.

**@urtrashman  
i say woo my love, im a true romantic**

**@itsagazebo  
ur an idiot, why do i still talk to you?**

**@urtrashman  
bc whom else would put up with your rambling at 2 am when you can’t sleep??? hmmmm**

**@itsagazebo  
i very much appreciate that, im showering quick ok**

**@urtrashman  
without me?;);)**

**@itsagazebo  
you’re such a fuckboy**

Eddie laughed to himself, before actually making his way to the bathroom and showering in record time. He had a load of studying to do, but he avoided that. Instead he pulled out his laptop and loaded a shitty romcom on Netflix.

**@urtrashman  
ummmmm surely ur shower is finished by now**

**@itsagazebo  
i am out of the shower yes**

**@urtrashman  
good, now can i rant to you**

They continued talking for most of the night, Eddie finally giving in at one am and saying he needed to sleep. He’d been messaging @urtrashman for a total of five months, it happened on a whim one day when Eddie reblogged one of his posts. They had no idea who each other was really, but Eddie kind of liked it. He was someone to tell his secrets, hopes and downfalls to. A support system in a way.

~

Eddie shut his locker door, sighing as he rested his head against it.

“You l-look tired E-eddie” Bill said, frown forming on his face.

“I’m okay Billy, I promise” Eddie smiled gratefully. Bill was one of his only actual friends, they’d known each other since they were five and were practically attached at the hip. Ben was his other best friend, despite being on the football team, Ben was lovely and caring. The three of them liked their little trio, rarely branching outside of it.

**@urtrashman  
i really really hate school**

**@itsagazebo  
i very much agree, calculus first period**

**@urtrashman  
good luck, ur got this. i’ll catch ur pretty ass later**

**@itsagazebo  
u don’t even know what i look like. speak to you soon**

Eddie locked his phone before making his way into his calculus class, taking his usual seat at the back to the left. The seat next to him was filled five minutes into the class, the smell of smoke wafting in with the person. Richie Tozier leaned back in his chair, Eddie focused on the teacher. They’d sat next to each other in calculus for three months and had barely said a word to each other, other than what was necessary. They were very opposite sides of the spectrum. Eddie was unpopular and he didn’t mind it whereas Richie was popular and he loved it. Relished in every moment he was centre of attention. Eddie didn’t know enough about him to make a judgment, but Eddie didn’t like him.

“Do you have the notes from last class? I missed it” Richie whispered once their teacher set their work.

“Why should I help you?” Eddie retorted, Richie raised an eyebrow.

“Jesus Kaspbrak, I wasn’t asking to take your fucking virginity” Richie’s voice was louder now, earning a few stifled laughs from others. Eddie went bright red, frowning at his paper.

“Fuck yourself Tozier” Eddie snapped back, Richie just lazily rolled his eyes.

“I don’t need to Eddie K, I’ve got plenty of people to do that for me” Richie leaned back, chewing his gum loudly. Eddie just turned away from his slightly, starting his work and tuning out Richie fucking Tozier. He pulled out his phone, hiding it from the teacher.

**@itsagazebo  
how do u deal with assholes??**

Eddie locked his phone, slipping it away and returning to his work. When he finished the questions, the bell rang and he dropped his work on the teachers desk before making his way - slowly - to his next lesson. Eddie fucking hated gym, not that he was bad at it. He just really despised locker room culture and wearing stupid red shorts. Luckily, Bill was in his gym class so he had some company.

“H-Hey Eddie, you okay?” Bill asked as they changed, Eddie shied away from the other boys in the locker room.

“Fine and fucking dandy Bill, just peachy” Eddie seethed, pulling the horrid yellow shirt on. They made their way into the gymnasium together, Bill idly chatting about something Eddie wasn’t that focused on truthfully. He was hyper aware of two people staring at him, Harry Thomas and Jacob Richardson. The pair had had it out for Eddie since they first laid eyes on him, Eddie suddenly felt very uneasy.

“I’m just going to pee Bill” Eddie whispered, disappearing into the toilets. He steadied himself on the sink, he wouldn’t panic here.

“Hiya Eddie” he heard Harry sneer, Eddie groaned and closed his eyes.

“What do you want?” Eddie asked, tiredness in his voice.

“We saw you staring at us, little faggot can’t keep his eyes away” Jacob smirked, Eddie shook his head.

“I promise you I wasn’t-“ Eddie mumbled, before his arm was grabbed roughly and his words were cut off with a yelp.

“You know what we do to little fags Kaspbrak?” Harry was close to his face, Eddie tried to squirm away but the grip on his wrist was tightened.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Eddie heard a familiar voice.

“None of your business Tozier” Harry snapped, although the tightness around Eddie’s wrist loosened.

“I’m sure you won’t mind if I talk to my friend here then, and you two fuck off back into class?” Richie smiled icily, blue eyes stern behind his glasses. Harry considered it for a moment, before letting go of Eddie’s wrist.

“Fucking queer” Jacob hissed under his breath, Eddie turned away from them.

“Hey, uh- are you okay?” Richie scratched his neck awkwardly, Eddie nursed his wrist.

“Yes, thank you Richie” Eddie said cooly, his wrist aching. He really hoped there wasn't bruising, his mom would have him in the hospital in seconds.

"Um Kaspbrak, those guys they're complete assholes. Don't think we're all like that" Richie said simply, before leaving Eddie in the changing rooms.

**@urtrashman  
whom do i need to fight   
wait you ok  
fucking reply nerd**

**@itsagazebo  
we live in 2017, and there are still homophobic assholes everywhere**

There was no immediate reply, so Eddie changed out of his gym clothes - he wasn’t usually one to skip class but he really didn’t want to step foot back into the smelly gymnasium. He dropped Bill a text, he’s be fine anyway, and left to hide in the boys toilet until third period.

**@urtrashman  
tell me about it, growing up in a small conservative town is the worst**

**@itsagazebo  
i can fully relate to that, are you texting in class again**

**@urtrashman  
nah i skipped again though**

**@itsagazebo  
ur insufferable**

The bell rang shrilly, signalling the end of second period so Eddie headed to the science buildings. Biology was, oddly, Eddie’s favourite subject. And he got Ben to keep him company anyway.

“Morning Eddie, you okay?” Ben asked, eyeing Eddie’s slightly red wrist.

“Just a run in with a couple of assholes, I’m okay,” Eddie saw the look Ben gave him, “Ben it’s been the same since I started high school. I promise I’m fine”. Eddie ruffled his hair and went back to focusing on the teacher. He felt his phone vibrate three times but chose to ignore it, he wasn’t like his friend who used his phone in every lesson.

**@urtrashman  
i am suffering through chemistry pls save me   
god im so lonely   
even my one true love, you, have left me to suffer**

**@itsagazebo  
i was not going to text during bio thank you**

“You’re still talking to him?” Ben asked, leering over Eddie’s shoulder. They made their way to the cafeteria, where Bill was already sat at one of the smaller tables.

“Yes Benjamin” Eddie quipped, Ben grinned.

**@urtrashman  
you’re such a goody two shoes**

**@itsagazebo  
bite me**

“D-do you even know his n-name yet?” Bill asked, taking a bite out of his pizza.

“No, I like it that way. It’s like we can talk for hours but we don’t have to know everything about each other” Eddie locked his phone, taking out his lunch.

“Oh god Bev, I can’t handle it anymore. He’s fucking cute” Eddie heard Richie’s voice as he strolled past the table.

“Rich, you have literally never called anyone cute what the fuck” Bev laughed at him.

“Piss off Marsh” their voices disappeared, Eddie rolled his eyes. Richie Tozier was he kind of asshole you wanted to avoid.

**@urtrashman  
that’s kinda kinky**

**@itsagazebo  
only if you perceive it that way**

**@urtrashman  
i definitely do**

Eddie smiled at his phone, just as Bill waved a hand in his face.

“Are you wuh-working tonight?” Bill asked, Ben was swivelled around talking to Mike Hanlon. Eddie didn’t play much notice to them.

“When am I not working Bill? But I get off at seven tonight” Eddie told him and Bill nodded.

“There’s this p-p-party,” Bill looked frustrated whilst trying to get the word out, “maybe we could g-go?” Bill asked, just as Ben rejoined the conversation.

“I’m up for it?” Ben said, both the boys turning to Eddie with hopeful eyes.

“Fine, but I’m not drinking a lot” Eddie told them and they both grinned.

~

The party rolled around sooner than Eddie would’ve liked, he was currently walking with Bill and Ben and pulling on his button up.

“Maybe I should just go? I’m not sure if-“

“We’re here now Eddie, just enjoy yourself” Ben smiled at him, giving him a reassuring pat on the back.

**@itsagazebo  
im at a fucking party i don’t know how or why this is happening**

**@urtrashman  
enjoy it!! im at one too tonight actually   
maybe fate will pull us together little one**

**@itsagazebo  
i regret telling you im 5’5**

**@urtrashman  
it’s so heckin cute**

“You’re not s-s-staying on that all n-night” Bill told him, Eddie rolled his eyes and locked his phone. Bill passed him a beer which Eddie turned his nose up at, instead going for vodka and soda in a solo cup. High school parties were so fucking cliché.

“Hey Mike!” Ben grinned, Mike pulling him in for an awkward hug.

“Eddie, Bill. It’s nice to see you two here” Mike smiled, Eddie had always known Mike was too nice. He tried to decide whether he thought it was fake or Mike was just genuinely a good guy. Eddie sipped his drink, deciding he’d put far too much vodka in it.

“Mike my man!” Eddie heard a familiar voice and groaned, “oh hello you three”. Eddie looked up to see Richie smiling lazily. He pulled out his phone whilst his friends made conversation.

**@itsagazebo  
i have decided high school parties are a waste of time and ive been here 2 seconds**

Eddie didn’t get a reply, maybe he was actually enjoying his party unlike Eddie. Richie pulled out his phone, an actual bright smile appearing on his face. It made him look oddly handsome, but Eddie ignored that thought.

**@urtrashman  
u poor soul, wish i was there to liven it up for you**

Eddie smiled at the message appearing on his screen, but decided to give it a minute before replying. When he looked up, Richie was watching him with a curious look. Eddie had to look away.

**@itsagazebo  
that’d be the best okay**

Bill pulled his phone out of his hand, resigning it to his own pocket.

“I t-told you that y-you weren’t allowed on that t-tonight” Bill said, Eddie pouted at him.

“Just one night Eddie?” Ben questioned, Eddie finally nodded. Stan and Bev joined soon after, Eddie suddenly felt rather uncomfortable.

“Seeing you out of your little diner is odd” Stan said, his tone cold. Richie snickered next to him. Bill looked between the pair and Eddie, who was now pouring more vodka into his drink. Eddie didn’t reply to the comment, just moved past them into the flow of the party. He wasn’t going to rise to it, people had always been rude to Eddie. It was part and parcel of who he was.   
Eddie was tipsy and couldn’t find any of his friends, he was also phone less due to Bill confiscating it earlier.

“Have you seen Bill Denbrough? Tall, he was wearing a plaid shirt” Eddie giggled, the guy was watching him oddly. Eddie didn’t like the way his eyes moved across his body.

“No, but I see something a lot better” the guy whispered into Eddie’s ear. Eddie took a step back, shaking his head.

“C’mon, everyone knows you’re a fucking queer Kaspbrak. You should be begging for this” the guys arm was around his shoulder now, holding him tightly.

“I said no” Eddie told him firmly, the guy shook his head this time. He was still holding him.

“Woah dude, I think he said fucking no” Eddie heard Richie’s voice before he saw him, Eddie really didn’t want it to be the second time that day Richie had helped him out.

“Get fucked Tozier, this is nothing to do with you” the guy sneered, but his grip around Eddie was gone. Eddie moved away from him quickly, disappearing into the kitchen.

“Kaspbrak?” Richie called after him.

“I’m fine, I don’t need you to fight my battles for me” Eddie snapped, tears were forming at the corners of his eyes but he wouldn’t cry in front of Richie fucking Tozier.

“Have you seen Bill?” Eddie asked, Richie nodded his head towards the back door. He found Bill, who took one look at him, before standing up quickly.

“Can I have my phone please? I need to get home” Eddie held out his hand.

“Are you o-okay?” Bill asked, hand on Eddie’s shoulder as he handed over his phone.

“I’m fine Bill, I’ll see you tomorrow or something” Eddie disappeared before Bill could say anything.

“Eddie!” Eddie ignored the voice, walking out of the front door and down the lawn.

“Wait, do you need a lift home?” Richie caught up with him, Eddie stared at him for a second.

“I haven’t had anything to drink I promise, I just don’t want you walking home alone” Richie’s eyes trailed to the party.

“Okay” Eddie sighed and Richie showed him to his truck. He pulled out his phone, greeted by four messages.

**@urtrashman  
parties when ur sober aren’t always the best i agree  
great im being ignored by my only saviour   
are you okay?  
im a little worried**

**@itsagazebo  
im okay i promise, im heading home now anyway**

Richie’s fingers tapped aimlessly against the wheel as Eddie directed him towards his house.

“Why did you stick up for me?” Eddie asked, turning to Richie slightly.

“I’m not a fucking asshole Eddie,” Richie stared at him for a moment, “the shit they say to you is uncalled for”.

“Your own friends tease me” Eddie pointed out, Stan’s comment from earlier reminding him.

“That’s Stan’s humour, he uh- didn’t mean to offend you” Richie scratched his neck as he pulled up in front of Eddie’s house.

“Eddie,” Richie’s hand stopped him as he went for the door handle, “I’m not as bad as you think”. Was all Richie said so Eddie nodded, before making his way to his house. Richie was gone when Eddie turned around, but his words resonated with Eddie.

**@urtrashman  
i hope you got home safe, goodnight babe**

~

The diner was extremely busy, Eddie rushed around with orders and cleaning. He barely had time to rest for a minute, also attempting to help their manager with the books. This was coincidentally his mother’s job, but she was at home - doing nothing.

“Hey Eddie, sit down for a second will you darling?” Rachel said, concern on her face.

“I can’t, I gotta serve these people” he said, wiping his forehead before heading to the booth accompanied by Richie and Bev.

“Can we get two strawberry milkshakes and a portion of fries please?” Bev asked, Eddie scribbled their order. He heard something break behind him and visibly sighed.

“Is that all?” Eddie asked, planting on a fake smile and looking up at the pair. Richie eyes were trained on him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“That’s everything, thank you” Bev finished so Eddie took their order to the kitchen. He found the mop and brush, but they were taken from him by Bill.

“I-I’ve got it” Bill told him, going over to clean the mess. Eddie sighed, leaning against the wall for a moment before handing the order to the kitchen.

“You look exhausted Eddie” Ben said, frowning at his friends appearance.

“I’ve been here since open, our other server called in sick” Eddie informed them, just as the order bell rang and he was summoned. He made quick work of taking the order to Richie and Bev, who thanked him.

“What t-time do you g-get off?” Bill asked, Eddie shrugged.

“I’ve told him to go home four times today” Rachel added in, as she finished off the books.

“We don’t have anyone else, I’m okay I promise” Eddie desperately needed them all to get off his back. This diner was the only thing left of his Dad he could treasure, and he was determined to allow it to thrive. Even if that meant working his ass off constantly whilst his mother ate her own body weight and watched shitty television all day.   
Finally, the diner closed at nine and Eddie hung up his apron.

**@urtrashman  
i assume ur working all day again so im going to have to suffer alone without you**

**@itsagazebo  
i just finished**

**@urtrashman  
it’s like nine pm, how do u do it**

**@itsagazebo  
i have to, it’s my dads place**

**@urtrashman  
have i ever told you how amazing you are??**

**@itsagazebo  
multiple times but you can continue to compliment me as much as you like**

**@urtrashman  
could i send you a cover when you get home?? i need your advice**

**@itsagazebo  
of course, i’ll message you when im back   
im home now**

**@urtrashman  
[creepradioheadcover.vid]**

Eddie listened intently, soft tones flowing through his phones shitty speaker. His friend had told him that music was his passion, but his dad had pressured him into playing sports because ‘music wasn’t a fucking career’.

**@itsagazebo  
i could listen to ur voice forever, i really like that one**

**@urtrashman  
ur too kind my love, are you sure it’s good? i still don’t know**

**@itsagazebo  
stop doubting yourself, it’s brilliant**

**@urtrashman  
you really are an incredible**

Eddie smiled as he locked his phone, heading towards his bathroom, talking to his online friend was easy. They could be open with each other without the worry of any personal judgement. Eddie knew Bill and Ben wouldn’t ever judge him but sometimes having someone anonymous to talk to helped him.

~

Eddie drove to school Monday morning, picking Ben up on his way.

“Morning guys” Bill said as they approached him by his locker. Eddie waved, unlocking his own locker and pulling out his Calculus book.

“Eddie, I g-gotta talk to you at lunch” Bill said warily, something was on his mind.

“Can’t you say it now?” Eddie asked, clutching his book tightly.

“D-don’t worry about it okay, j-just let me tell y-you later” Bill touched his shoulder reassuringly, Eddie nodded. He left for Calculus, surprised to see Richie already sat in his seat.

“Uh- I copied out the notes for that class you missed,” Eddie said quietly and passed the sheet with his neat cursive, “as a thank you”.

“Is this a peace offering?” Richie teased, but there was no malice behind it anymore.

“I guess so Tozier” Eddie smiled, an actual genuine smile.

**@itsagazebo  
u know u said i was amazing, im starting to think i am**

Eddie tapped out the message and left his phone on the side of the table, eyes flickering to Richie’s own phone. Eddie’s heart thumped in his chest, his tumblr name displayed on Richie’s notifications. His palms felt sweaty, as he turned to stare at Richie - who was typing out a message with a shy smile. Eddie’s own phone buzzed and the complete realisation set in.

**@urtrashman  
im glad u finally see it**

Eddie stood up abruptly, chair scraping across the floor.

“You- you, what” Eddie mumbled, Richie stared at him in confusion.

“Kaspbrak, hey are you okay?” Richie asked, Eddie shook his head. Eddie had told Richie fucking Tozier his deepest darkest secrets. He knew about everything Eddie went through and Eddie knew about him. About his horrible relationship with his parents, his struggle with ADHD. Eddie shoved his phone in Richie’s face, suddenly Richie’s own expression dropped. Before he could say anything, Eddie grabbed his things and bolted out of the room.

“Eddie! Eddie fucking wait!” Richie shouted after him, long legs quickly catching up with Eddie.

“You didn’t know did you?” Eddie asked breathless, Richie shook his head. Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie saw Stan and Bev approaching them.

“What’s going on here then Rich, cute little date?” Bev asked, quirking her brow. Eddie watched as Richie’s eyes flitted between his friends and Eddie.

“Kaspbrak can’t get enough of me” Richie said, Eddie glared at him. He should’ve known. Eddie turned on his heel, leaving school without a thought to the consequences. He drove to the only place he knew he could be alone.   
The quarry sparkled underneath him, the brisk autumn air nipping at his exposed cheeks. His phone stayed silent, Eddie expected that. The one person that knew everything about him, was Richie Tozier. He’d probably laugh to his friends about Eddie Kaspbrak and his overbearing mother, his passion for medicine. A part of Eddie also thought about everything Richie told him, about his neglectful parents and Richie’s music. He thought about all the songs Richie had showed him, wanted to know whether his friend knew about this. Eddie had to tell himself he didn’t care, but he’d been speaking to Richie for two years. You can’t switch something like that of in a matter of hours.  
      Eddie arrived at the diner early, Rachel took one look at him and shook her head

“No, no sweetie you’re not working today” Rachel told him, taking him out back and ordering Archie to make Eddie a large milkshake.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” Rachel asked, eyeing him cautiously. Eddie had formed a small family at the diner, they were mostly employees of his dad and they loved Eddie as they loved him.

“I feel like I’m stuck,” Eddie sighed, “I want to go off to college and be a nurse but this place is the last part of my dad and I don’t want to lose it. Without me, my mom will abandon the one place I really love” Eddie tumbled out, staring down at the strawberry milkshake.

“Eddie, you gotta out yourself first baby. You think I’d ever let this place go downhill? You’re daddy helped me when I needed him most, I owe him a lot” Rachel said, resting her hand on Eddie’s forearm.

“Thank you so much, I know I can trust you. This place is just all I’ve known” Eddie shrugged, looking around the kitchen. Archie and Pete worked around them, offering Eddie warm smiles all the time. Betty and Eleanor served outside, along with Chris who helped out when he could. Rachel had been here since before Eddie was born. These people, and Billy and Ben, were his family.

“Sometimes baby, you gotta put yourself in situations where you don’t know what’s going to happen. Your daddy did when he bought this place, he was diving straight into the unknown” Rachel smiled, squeezing Eddie’s arm.

“Now I gotta work, you go home and rest, we’ve got it here” Rachel told him so Eddie left.

**billum  
are you okay? you weren’t there at lunch. bens first game is tonight and i know you’re free so we have to go for him. i’ll come round to yours just before**

Eddie groaned slightly but tapped back a reply that said he was okay with it. He had to go to support Ben.   
     “Eddie,” his mother screamed, “get the door”. Eddie rushed downstairs to open it, Bill standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“I n-need to tell y-you something” Bill said, moving past Eddie and going up to his room.

“Y-you know you’re f-friend? I know who it is” Bill was speaking quietly.

“It’s Richie Tozier,” Eddie said for him, “how do you know?”

“Wait, y-you found out? I saw his ph-phone go off at that p-p-party” Bill looked slightly relieved.

“I found out whilst sat next to him in Calculus. He was an asshole about it so I left school” Eddie admitted, shying away from Bill.

“I’m suh-sorry Eddie, I know y-you liked him” Bill pulled him in for a hug, taking advantage of their height difference.

“I’m okay, it was just the shock of it all mostly” Eddie told him. He wasn’t okay, but Bill didn’t need to know that. They left for Ben’s game, after convincing Eddie’s mom they’d be safe. The grounds were packed with students, Eddie stayed close to Bill as they sat down. The game stared quickly, Eddie recognising Ben’s number eleven. He also recognised Mike’s forty and Richie’s thirteen. His stomach turned when Richie ran on the pitch with a stunning grin. _It just isn’t what I want to do, it’s not my passion_ , Richie’s words played in Eddie’s mind. Everyone cheered as the game started, Eddie keeping his eyes trained on Ben. The school’s commentator said something about Richie’s performance being off, maybe something about a distraction. Eddie tuned it out, cheering and booing when everyone else did. They ended up winning the game, Bill and Eddie walked to meet Ben.

“You did great Benny!” Eddie said enthusiastically, hugging his sweaty friend.

“I don’t fucking care” Eddie heard someone shout, saw Richie’s helmet thrown to the ground and him storm off. Ben seemed to ignore it, instead hugging Eddie back and grinning.

“I’m so glad we won, it puts us at an advantage next game” Ben said, this started a conversation about tactics with Bill that Eddie didn’t really listen to. He watched as Richie approached Bev, shrugging her off. She seemed to say something to him that angered him slightly, Eddie peeled his eyes away. He shouldn’t care.

~

Eddie knew something was wrong the minute he stepped into school, eyes were trained on him. He felt his chest grow tighter and tighter, especially when he saw Bill tearing something down with a disgusted expression.

“Eddie, Eddie no” Bill attempted to pull the paper away from Eddie, but he had no luck.

_it’s just difficult, sometimes i don’t understand who i am_

_if i could maybe live a regular life, not be the small gay asthmatic that’s mother can barely walk, maybe it’d be easier_

_im fucking stuck in a town i hate, pretending to be someone im not_

Eddie stared at his own words, they were just a few of the very open and private messages displayed all around him. He crumpled up the paper, storming to where he knew he’d find him. Eddie smashed open the locker room door, the entire football team staring at him.

“Get the fuck out Kaspbrak” someone shouted, Eddie steeled on and found Richie leaning against a locker without a shirt on.

“Fuck you,” Eddie tossed the paper ball at his head, “fuck you Tozier you sly piece of shit”. Eddie snapped. Richie undid the paper.

“Eddie I fucking promise I-“

“I don’t care, they were private fucking messages. Don’t ever feel so fucking entitled that you even fathom to think you’d spread that all over school. I had some respect for you Tozier, now it’s all fucking gone. Never, and I mean never, speak to me again” with that, Eddie left the locker room and stormed to his next class.   
      Eddie sat through the whispers, ignored the stares all day. Whilst he felt sick to his stomach and tears were freshly brewing, he sat there and braved it.

**unknown number  
im sorry, i promise you those fucking posters weren’t me. i know you have no reason to believe me but i wouldn’t do that to you. im really fucking sorry**

Eddie ignored the message, he knew who it was from and he had no desire to reply. Richie Tozier could leave Eddie alone for the rest of his life for all Eddie cared.

“Was it you?” Eddie heard Richie’s voice, backing away from the corridor he was just about to turn into. Eddie saw Richie, Bev and Stan in front of another boy Eddie didn’t recognise. Mike was just joining them.

“Whatever fucking issues you have with me, there was no need to bring him into anything!” Richie voice was loud, the guy looked intimated.

“I’ve ruined one of the good things in your life” the guy still sneered, eyeing Richie. Before anyone could react, Richie’s fist collided with his nose. Eddie gasped, running into the corridor. Ben has pulled Richie back, along with Mike and Stan stood between the pair. Five pairs of eyes travelled to where Eddie stood, Richie’s expression falling.

“Eddie-“ Richie started but Stan shook his head.

“So you’re responsible for having my private life spread around school?” Eddie said cooly, the guy stared at him.

“Now, I may not be able to punch you or intimidate you but just know that what you did was fucking awful and I sincerely hope you’re ashamed of yourself” Eddie said solemnly, Bill and Ben appeared at the end of the hallway.

“Eddie? You okay?” Ben asked, getting close to Eddie on instinct. Bill stared daggers at Richie, who looked guilty under the gaze.

“I just want to go home” Eddie said to Ben, who nodded as the three started to walk away.

“Eddie, wait” Eddie was tempted to ignore him, but he turned to Richie anyway.

“I hate football, I always fucking have. I joined the team to impress my dad who doesn’t actually care enough. I want to be a musician, or a radio host. I have an alcoholic mother who ignores me most of the time, my only clarity is music and these and well, it was you” Richie admitted, his friends watching him intently. Eddie stared at him, seeing the vulnerability in him for once.

“I can’t pretend I wasn’t an asshole to you, but I understand who you are. More than most people I think and I’m more than fucking sorry” Richie was still keeping the intense eye contact.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t exactly polite to you either” Eddie added, Richie chuckling lightly.

“Maybe we could all uh- go get food or something?” Richie asked, looking around at the group. They all nodded, some sceptical of each other.

“I kn-know a lovely diner where we can g-get a discount” Bill joked, Eddie joined in on the laughter around him.   
Surprisingly, their group got on well. Ben and Mike geeked out about history whilst Stan and Bill seemed to chat about everything an anything. Eddie soon learned that Stan wasn’t cold, it was a defence kind of thing. Bev was lovely, she shared a similar sense of humour to Eddie. Richie, whilst still obnoxious and crude, started to became more and more like the person Eddie had been talking to for two years.

“Do you remember last Christmas?” Richie said quietly, whilst the others spoke around them.

“When we stayed up until midnight together, watching the same movie so we could be the first people to say merry christmas to each other?” Eddie asked, eyes twinkling.

“You were the only person to say it to me that day” Richie admitted in person, just like he had that day.

“It was my pleasure” Eddie smiled, a genuine smile cracked across Richie’s face. He was beautiful, Eddie had always thought that deep down. But he was enigmatic, Eddie wondered how Richie played two people at once constantly. It intrigued him.

~

**unknown number  
im glad u forgive me, don’t think i could go a few days without talking to you**

Eddie changed Richie’s contact to ‘Rich’, finally allowing him that.

**eddie  
do u not think it’s odd?? i mean it’s nice to finally know who you are, but if you don’t mind**

**rich  
it’s more than okay eds, as long as you can deal with the fact that im Richie fucking Tozier**

**eddie  
i think i can deal with that**

Eddie smiled at his phone, maybe knowing who his mystery friend would did work out.   
      School went without worry he next day, Eddie was quite glad. At lunch, Eddie found a full table. He slipped into a seat next to Richie, who was deeply debating with Bev about something.

“Are you coming to the game tomorrow night?” Ben asked, Richie’s attention was on him again.

“What time does it start?”

“Six” Mike informed him.

“I get out of work at five so I can be there” Eddie said, he didn’t miss the grin on Richie’s face.

~

Rachel let him go early, saying they were okay and he should go join his friends. Who were waiting for him outside, save for the guys on the team.

“C’mon let’s go support our boys” Bev said, slinging her arm over Eddie’s shoulder. Again, when they arrived the bleachers were full. After the first win, the school was eager for a second one. The team ran on stage, Richie obnoxiously blowing a kiss in their direction, a girl in front of them nudging her friend and squealing. Eddie rolled his eyes. The game kicked off, Eddie watching his friends. Near the end of the game, the score was tied and Richie got the ball. Eddie stood on the bench, shouting Richie’s name as he ran towards the line. Richie got a touchdown, the entire bleachers erupting. Then the whistle was blown, and the team engulfed Richie in a huddle. Eddie cheered with everyone else, as Richie whipped off his helmet and he curls stuck to his face but his smile was so radiant. Richie looked so beautiful in the floodlights, the Richie Eddie knew, the Richie his friends knew and the Richie everyone else knew. Richie was running towards the bleachers, determination in his eyes. Eddie watched as he ran right up to where Eddie sat on an aisle seat, watched as Richie pulled him up in front of everyone.

“Eddie, can I do something I’ve been wanting to do for two years?” Richie asked, the entire bleachers were watching them. Eddie nodded and Richie pressed his lips softly against Eddie’s. There were gasps and cheers, Eddie placing his hands either side of his face.

“Was that okay?” Richie asked quietly, amongst the noise. Eddie nodded, smile cracking across his face. Eddie was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a long old fucking thing i just didn’t want to chapter it


End file.
